I wanna be like Carolyn when I grow up.....

Peace. I know everyone reading this is a follower/worshipper/reader of Diary of a Sewing Fanatic. If not, you should be. One of the things I have always wondered, but never asked is why does the author have this obsession with TNT patterns? I now know. It keeps you from making garments that you would not wear. I am in serious possession of many patterns that probably won’t look good on me. And because I primarily increase my wardrobe, these days, 80% of the time with my own made garments, chances are, I won’t know a particular look is not for me until I make up the pattern. Why not have TNTs? I work in the health care industry. So that means I NEVER have to wear suits unless I want to. Up until 8 years ago, (and my life is COMPLETELY different than it was 8 years ago) my jobs came with uniforms. My wardrobe consisted of: uniforms, church clothes, a going out outfit (I hardly ever go out like that) and recreational clothes. I chose when I started this job to NOT wear uniforms. I didn’t have to and I don’t. There are only 2 of us that don’t wear scrubs and the other person is a man. He wears a uniform of khakis and a dress shirt daily. I have had to really figure out what looks good on me and what I have the temperament to wear. Y’all have seen my shape from previous pictures. I’m a big girl with large breasts. But I have good legs (bad/fat knees), B.U.T. I’m righteous and don’t often show them off. What y’all may not realize is I’m short…. Regular clothes don’t automatically look good on me. I tend to look sloppy in my clothes if not done right. I want to do them right. My mother blessed me with her shape, for the most part; but not her ass. My behind is wide like hers but not protrusive. So I never have to make a sway back adjustment. In turn, my boobs are way bigger than hers and she is shorter than me. Luckily I can wear heels, she can’t. Artificial knees. Now I’m not telling you all my mother’s business for no reason. Mommie’s philosophy is to wear clothes as tight as you can stand them and to wear even tighter foundation garments to make you look smaller and smooth. I tried that. But I like to breathe; seems it’s not as important to her. I had Mommie watching Mad Men and she went on and on and on and on….. about how good “Joan” looked. She said that since we couldn’t hide our shapes we should display them. I don’t know how I feel about that. I still have bad memories of getting in trouble because my high school gym shorts were labeled ‘obscene’ by the administration. Mommie bought those shorts…. I’m just saying. All older people aren’t conservative like that. I am trying to figure out my figure. I used to be hour glassed, but now, not so much. I swear either my hips are receding and/or my waist is thickening. I think my waist is thickening. I don’t get that… or why. So I am drifting into a big, straight up and down with boobs. I don’t know how to dress that. More fabric on the bottom makes me look even bigger. Where are the What Not To Wear people when you need them? I have a bunch of belts to cinch my waist but it’s not doing what the claims say it should be doing. I have been following big girl fashion blogs and they are all over the place. These women are wearing short, tight, loose, all kinds of garments. Adele and Octavia Spencer come to mind. They don’t look uncomfortable like my mother would have me look (she buys me a tight suit for Christmas every year. Her suits are the only suits I own. One of the caveats of not celebrating Christmas anymore is I don’t have to accept these suits!) I have ventured out of my comfort zone and tried to make some very loose fitting caftan type garments. I don’t particularly care for the results. I favor pencil skirts, sometime a-line skirts. I like soft cardigans and Old Navy t-shirts. ***sigh*** but I’m not in my 20’s or even 30’s). I can’t keep wearing that to work. Or can I? I need some TNT’s. That is my new mission. Find some TNT patterns that work for my ever changing body and hold onto them for dear life. More to come…… Peace PS: Hey Carolyn! When are you gonna teach us how to shirr? Is that spelled right?

S2615: Don't sew while sick

Peace. Again…. I am going to complain about Simplicity patterns. It’s getting to the point that I want to purge all Simplicity patterns from my stash. But… I paid for them so that’s probably not going to happen. I’ll give them away 1st. Also I have a head cold. I will admit that that is what it is. My voice and nose are all choked up. I can hear myself laboring to breathe. My chest is fine although I have a generalized achyness that I just cannot put my finger on why it’s there and where it’s coming from. I’m warm, all my teeth hurt and my eczema seems to be popping out afresh. Maybe just sheer crappiness has caused me to dislike Simplicity. Don’t sew while sick. I have switched my diet to a more sattvic one and will just let nature take it’s course. Does anyone other than me have cutter’s remorse? It’s holding me back. Buying fabric is not the problem. It’s decided what to do with the fabric once it’s bought. I always have an idea when I buy a fabric about what I want to do with it, but then it changes. So now when I buy fabric, I always buy a little extra. I will sit with a pattern on my nightstand reading and re-reading the directions until I can quote them by number in my sleep only to change my mind when I get to the cutting table. Anyone out there do this foolishness? Anyone? Is it just me? S2615 is a wardrobe. It has 2 tops, a dress pants and shorts. The only different pattern pieces are the pants/shorts combo. I made the top. I need more tops in my wardrobe. Grown woman tops. I bought some thin cotton knit at a sale in Decatur. $2/yard indeed! I love the color… coral… but have to take their word on the type of fabric it is because it is never listed on the bolt. Coral looks good on everybody. I wish more people realized that. I knew when I only bought 2 yards of it that it was meant to be a top. I was just not sure which one. Several patterns sat on the nightstand. In the end I decided on S2615 because it was sort of a tunic. Sort of….

Posing in the kitchen after making breakfast for grown people who work from home! Slightly salty.... Pattern Description: S2615 Misses' & Plus Size Sportswear Misses or Plus Size Pullover Dress, Top and Pants & Shorts Pattern Sizing: 20W-28W I cut a 20 Did it look like the photo/drawing on the pattern envelope once you were done sewing with it? Yes Were the instructions easy to follow? I guess What did you particularly like or dislike about the pattern? Simplicity’s vague directions and I don’t like garments that tie in the back. That’s country. I figured I could finagle around it but it didn’t work with the fabric. So I have a top that ties in the back. Fabric Used: Alleged cotton knit. In the knit’s defense, I was able to iron it but it stayed really hot for a minute. Pattern alterations or any design changes you made: I am 5’3”. Yes I admit that. I shortened it 3” for many reasons. (a) It would have come down like a small dress if I didn’t. And (b) I didn’t have enough fabric to make the top as is. I know I’m technically petite, but I don’t normally to shorten clothes. I blame the boobs and other body parts Would you sew it again? Would you recommend it to others? I am teaching an Earth to sew who just found out that she is expecting. I will give the pattern to her. I think it is suitable for maternity. I didn’t cut the pants since I don’t wear pants. She can fit those however she needs to. Conclusion: I like it enough to not throw it out. It has a deep slit in the front that I find kind of sexy. I like the color more than anything else. Peace

I'm here.... Sort Of

Good Morning Y’all, I have been sewing. I have. I have loads of projects sitting on the sewing table. The God has been cleaning his side of the room. Eventually I think we will have space for other people other than ourselves in there. Who knows? Anywho. Where as I have plenty of mojo, it’s becoming depleted. I’m making garments I’m not super happy with. The last time I was satisfied with a garment it was my orange linen jacket. I like it now, but the construction was a beast. I made V1250 out of denim. It was a stretch denim, but still denim. I added 2 extra inches to it because it (a) wasn’t a knit and (b) because I knew I would be putting a zipper in it. And it came out enough for me to wear it publicly, but I wasn’t comfortable in it. Partially because it was shorter than my muslin, it came to the knee. (If I cut the muslin long, I don’t remember) And it rode up when I sat down. I wore it with boots to keep the overall proportion 3/4ths. The folks I was with said I looked hot in it. But I think it is because it is not my normal look. I wore a leather hat instead of my usual headwrap that let a lot of my hair out and I had up-to-the-knee boots. I’m thinking that attributed to the “hotness” more so than the dress. I Frankensteined another dress this weekend. I had some African inspired cotton print that I wanted to make a simple spring dress. African print is overpowering and making a dress with pleats or anything uber-fancy will look crazy because of the print. Another thing is I was going to a party this weekend (you know you’re getting old when your friends start turning 50!) and I made the dress the morning of the party. Come to think of it, I finished V1250 before I was about to go out. Maybe I’m putting undo pressure on myself. I used NL6648 for the top and the bottom of V8663. I chose both those patterns because I had success with them in the past. And yes I made a perfectly nice dress, but not anything I crave to wear. Had I loved the dress, I would have worn it to work this morning. I didn’t. The dress came out completely ok. Just not the BOOM I was looking for. I will wear it again. Here is the thing with both dresses…. My gut! Let me tell you something about Serenity…. Serenity is a thick sista, with big boobies and wide hips. What she never has is a pooch or a thick gut. NEVER!!!! And if she is… let me stop 3rd person talking… And if I have a PMS moment (which I didn’t have for the last 2 occasions) I can squish it together with shape wear. And I have a LOT of shape wear. Probably more than the average woman. My mother has a shape wear fetish that I inherited. On both occasions I suffered through a tight waist cincher and both times no cinching happened. WTF? This is truly disturbing because I don’t know what is happening to me. I just came off a 21 day juice fast. I should be fine as the Board of Health. But my stomach is fighting me. I’m just at a loss…. So this is my plan…. I have 2 events coming up; a born day party and my niece’s baby shower. I BOUGHT a dress to wear to both these events. I will watch my diet for the next 2 weeks and workout a bit more. I’m going to work my mojo by finishing little Dillon’s baby quilt, and finish my curtains. I also have 1 more crochet job to get out. That should preserve my mojo until I figure this tummy thing out. I will be crushed to find out it’s because of age. Peace

Random Build on a Wednesday

Peace Y’all,

I thought I’d type out something just to remind self to get my behind in front of the sewing machine. I’m hoping to get really random….

~ Since the sewing/computer room is so dark, I bought a floor lamp to lighten up things. It’s assembled but not used yet. I got it from Ikea on sale. But it has a funny light bulb. I sure hope that bulb lasts forever. Because I’ll probably have to buy another lamp if it goes out. Come on Ikea lamp!

~ I have decided for every 3 garments I create for myself, I’ll create one for the God.

~ The God said that he does not have a problem with the 2 of us matching… **insert sinister laugh here**

~ Do you know how hard it is to find interesting clothes for men? I peeped a bunch of runway shows and there is really nothing interesting out there. I have a shirt/jacket pattern and a pants pattern. Apparently that’s all I need. Men’s clothes are BORING!

~ I have all the fabric I need for all the projects I have planned for myself….. That’s never happened before.

~I’m sick of people asking me personal questions and for money!!!!

~ I have been procrastinating like a mug. I need to finish my black linen mourning suit and start on my Easter dress. No UFO’s in the new place.

~ Why am I making an Easter dress when I’m not a Christian and don’t celebrate Easter? I guess old habits die hard.

~ This random blogging is harder than it looked.

~ My job is really boring. And I have have to work this Friday. I shouldn't complain, since I only work 1 Friday a month....

~ Life seems like it’s taking a good turn, despite what people say. Right now I’m satisfied with what’s going on around me.

~ I need to make a trip out to some country thrift stores. They always have old patterns and crazy notions on the low/

~ I just joined Sew Weekly. I’m a joiner.

~ I hate taking out the trash……



Peace

S2766 + Tangerine Now and Laters

Peace!

I am exhausted from the New Year festivities. Within my culture we celebrate the Asiatic New Year at the spring equinox. Also, the Gods who helped the God and I move refused to take money for their aid. So we threw them a shindig this weekend as well. I am exhausted!

I did manage to finish curtains for the public rooms with the exception of the dining room. The DR is really a sun porch, but for us it’s a DR. The master bedroom and bathroom have not gotten their embellishment either. But do you know what? They will be just fine! And I got a shine on the wood floors that even the men noticed. It has gotten warm, real warm, in the “A” and I need to swap out to my warm weather clothes. So that brings me to the reason for this build…. Simplicity 2766....

I hate Simplicity patterns. I do. I have gotten to the point where I can say, I doubt I will buy any more unless the instructions are obvious. It’s not the styles that bother me but the instructions. I ALWAYS read instructions. I read them in the store when I buy new patterns. I read them while considering sewing them. I read them before I go to sleep at night. I want you to know and understand that I read the directions. Okay. So why when I follow the directions to a “T” the garment comes out muffed up? Answer me that? And…. It doesn’t happen with Vogue’s intricate hard assed patterns, or Mcalls or Butterick, or even Kwik Sew. Hell, not even with vintage patterns! Only Simplicty. I am so over them. Why did I buy it in the 1st place? IDK. It was probably recommended and/or on sale.

This garment is the foundation of my summer wardrobe. I’m calling it “The Now & Later Collection" after my favorite childhood (and adult) candy. I wanted a tangerine car coat with bracelet sleeves. I love the color, but I don’t own much tangerine/orange. I mean my Jeep is orange, but that is more of an accessory and not a garment. So I wanted a pop, and I got it with this jacket. The fabric is this luscious linen from Gail K’s. I love that store for browsing. I find her too freaking expensive. But, I hit the lottery. Not for a lot (not even enough to pay off the Jeep), but enough to afford $16/yd tangerine linen. I bought 5 yards of it. It is sooooo pretty and feels so wonderful to my skin. My pessimistic coworker saw the bag (nosy heifer). I have blogged about her before. She thinks she can sew and is an authority because she made a skirt and an apron in high school. But she does't own a machine and never has. I wasn't trying to show her the fabric. She said, "That’s pretty but I don’t see where or how you can wear that color." Whatever.

Pattern: Simplicity 2766

Description: Wardrobe: I made the F view long jacket with the short sleeves

Size: 18

Did it look like the pattern envelope when you were done sewing it? Mostly

Fabric: Tangerine Linen

Were the instructions easy to follow? Heck NO

What did you particularly like or dislike about the pattern?
I hated the instructions more than you can imagine. I started the jacket last week and got so frustrated that I had to walk away from it but I came back and rigged it to something I could wear

Pattern alterations or any design changes you made?
I extended the collar and omitted the buttons. The buttons that I fell in love with were $8/button. I wanted to hold on to my money a little longer I can always add them later if I want.

Would you sew it again? Would you recommend it to others?
On both answers no. Will I wear the garment I made? Yes. It is the core of my summer wardrobe and I bought shoes to match.

I tried to smile this time. I have enough lined to either make some gloves or a skirt. Does anyone know if you can make gloves out of linen? I don't think I've ever seen any before.

Y'all like my shoes? I ADORE them!!!! I went to Macy's to purchase these shoes after seeing them online. In the store I saw beige and black versions but not the orange. The mean associate told me that they ONLY came in colors I saw. I told him I saw them online in orange and he called me a liar to my face! Seriously. I was about to snap six degrees of ghetto in the store. Instead I pulled up the shoes on my phone. the associate asked me if it was a Macy's website. Really? Style and Company is a Macy's brand and I reminded him of that. As he got nastier, I reached in my purse for my stun gun. i was taking him down. The manager heard the incident and saved him from electrical complications. She found the shoes in their computer, ordered them for me and gave me a SEVERE discount. Then she took the man aside. I'm not going back tot hat Macy's (and it wasn't even a Hood Macy's), but I got my shoes.




Peace!

V8663

Peace.

Y’all know I have million and 6 things to do with the new place. I need to wax the floors, make curtains, and really just clean and get things together. We are having a party in 2 weeks! On Friday, I did manage to claim my space in the combination sewing/computer room. The God has been nagging at me to get it done. He has been nagging at me like his side is already clean. But I digress.

A big problem that I have always had is I don’t have going “out” clothes. I have work clothes, I have weekend clothes, I have a few workout clothes (that is all I need), I have mourning dresses and a couple of all purpose suits. And that’s it. I don’t have going out clothes. Probably because I hardly ever go out. But I needed some. Some Earths asked me to go to a spoken word slam. I likes spoken word. And it was on a Saturday evening. I may be getting old, but that sounds like going “out” to me. So V8663 to the rescue!

I have been meaning to make an LBD for a long time. I wanted to find something that reflected me. Not too old, but not too young. Middle age is a trip. I don’t want to wear the same clothes my mother wears and I don’t want anything written on my ass. I tried at Thanksgiving, but that was a failure and a massive use of fabric.

I was in Decatur to renew my license, I decided to go by my fabric place and see what they have. Since I moved going to that fabric store is a 40 minute hike. I would prefer to find something in my new neighborhood. Y’all know how that is. Folks don’t sew anymore. It’s hard to find a grocery store in my new neighborhood. You know searching for a fabric store will yield miniscule results. So I picked up 3 yards of black knit with a light dusting of glitter on 1 side. The clerk said that it was cotton knit. My iron said otherwise.

Folks call V8663 a 3 hour dress. Well I spent 4 hours on it. You know why? I made mistakes. But not crucial ones, but mistakes none the less. (1) I could not find all my sewing stuff. My white pencil, my seam ripper (And I have 4 rippers, but couldn’t find 1. One was so new I hadn’t opened the package yet) are gone. Where? IDK. But their loss will require me to go to Hancocks or Joann’s to replace them. Because every store doesn’t just carry a white pencil. (2) I cut the back of the skirt incorrectly. That didn’t cause a huge problem because I just had to keep in mind to superimpose the pieces since I cut them backwards and it worked fine. (3) Without my white pencil it was difficult to line up the pleats on the bodice. But even after all that drama, I am still really happy and relieved that I finally have a black dress that I can wear “out” and satisfies my 3/4th requirement. I predict this dress will get lots of wear.

Pattern: V8663

Description: Ladies Dress

Size: I cut a 22

Did it look like the pattern envelope when you were done sewing it? Yup

Fabric: cotton jersey, though I suspect it is polyester

Were the instructions easy to follow? I didn’t use them. Vogue didn’t lie when they said very easy. BUT…. There should have been more direction with regard to finishing off the collar and the armscye.

What did you particularly like or dislike about the pattern? It is an age appropriate dress for a 40-something year old

Pattern alterations or any design changes you made? I lengthened the bodice 2” and I made a mistake with the back of the skirt that you can’t sea

Would you sew it again? Yes I would. If I needed to. I’m keeping the pattern because I keep all my patterns that work. But I won’t make another one of these unless something happens to this dress. I can’t see having a whole wardrobe of these.

Would you recommend it to others? Absolutely

Don't I look Happy to be going out?


Alright… Back to my curtains


Peace

Cocoa and Puff

Peace,

After finding an Easter dress in 1984, my mother became sincerely frustrated. The dress had to be altered so much that the alterations cost more than the dress (and the shoes) did new. She looked at me with a seriousness that made me doubt any duplicity in her words and said, “Until your body evens out, I’m not buying any more clothes for you.” And she meant it.

That is what started me on my sewing journey. I requested a sewing machine as an 8th grade graduation gift. I knew that I had to take up the slack in alterations or I would have nothing to wear. And high school was coming….

I call the girls Cocoa and Puff. Properly measured, I am a 40J. Think I can find that size in Macy’s? Think again. My bras are NEVER pretty and ALWAYS expensive. Half the time I cannot find the right size and have to play with sizes. And half bras are a joke. A bad joke. Think of all the styles of clothing I cannot wear. And anything that requires strap less or off the shoulder is a no no. I even have dents in my shoulders from where the straps sit. And before I get a bunch of advice, it’s too late. They are in there permanently. My boobs are heavy too. I weighed one. 1 of them is 11lbs without me leaning in on the scale. I was once excommunicated from a friend’s wedding party because my girls would not go tastefully in the bridesmaid dress the bride chose. She said she had her heart set on a certain type of dress and I since I could not accommodate her dress, I was out!

For my own bridal shower, I requested to NOT receive lingerie. But my in-laws thought they were doing something good by giving it to me anyway. In the back of my mind I know it was for their brother/son/grandson/cousin. None of the, ahem… outfits… ever got worn in the 13 years that have followed.

They have been the bane of my existence as well as a treasured resource. Yes I have to get salty with men who feel completely okay at ogling me and speaking into them but conversely, they got me out of tickets and got work signed off for me as well. I won’t have them removed. They have always been there in some way. I have never been flat chested. I have had nodules ever since I was a toddler. I blame the Similac.

Dressing the girls has always been a challenge. I keep hoping for something to happen in the retail world. I can’t be the only woman with an ample bosom. Returning to my sewing machine has also made a bit of knowledge born to me that patterns also run tight for me in booby area. Can the buxom get a break? But FBA’s and newer patterns have helped me out a great deal. I used to purchase tops in larger sizes and alter them down to fit me. Since I’m short, I have always been able to alter down a dress and insert a gusset to release the chest. The funny thing is I didn’t know what a ‘gusset’ was at the time. I have had professionals to give me advice but I am really sad to report their advice was really heartless. More…. “You should have those things removed” and not true advice. And I had to pay for a lot of that bullshit.

So if your big breasted, and clueless I will share with you what has helped me thus far. Without sending a shout out to my switchblade. And be mindful, as big as you think they are… or what you see in the mirror… They are bigger.

Things that tell you where to put your boobs are off limits. Lingerie is good for doing this. If there is a clear are designated for boobs to go, don’t buy it. Since I’m speaking on lingerie, don’t buy traditional outfits. Big boobs dangle and aren’t perky. Buy whole slips that don’t tell you where to put your boobs or separates that are like t-shirt and panties. Anything else will be highly UN-sexy.

Empire waists and tent/swing outfits make you look pregnant. Yeah they do. I used to love me some baby dolls in the 90’s with Dr Martins. Good thing slovenliness was also the rage. A lot of those African outfits are swingy or straight but definitely not form fitting. I don’t know why. I got engaged on my Bornday in November. I sang in a concert shortly thereafter where I had to where on of those African outfits. Everybody thought I was pregnant and that’s why I had gotten engaged. It is a nice commentary of today’s society that the only reason 2 folks in their 20’s who have been dating for a minute have to get married is if they get pregnant…..

Belting under your boobs because it’s the smallest part of you is salacious and should be avoided. When I do that I look like a porn queen. I wear belts at my natural waist.

Separates are really the only answer. I have gotten bigger as I have aged. But when I was thinner, I could not buy a suit. I had to buy a jacket and a skirt. Or tops and bottoms. But all separate. The only dresses I wore, I made. I could make them to fit my body. Jackets are still tricky. I cannot afford to wear a poorly made jacket. I will either look sloppy or like a sausage. Jackets should close. I think this is the reason I have moved to cardigans. And I was doing this BEFORE the 1st lady. And why does she wear them anyway? The one thing she is lacking is boobies.

As hard as this is to believe, showing neck and upper chest BUT NOT CLEAVAGE takes the attention off the girls. Big earrings go a long way to camouflage the girls.

Dark tops and lighter bottoms. Yes just the opposite of what most folks. I don’t own a white blouse since I stopped being a church usher. Seriously. I own all dark dress tops and maybe a few white t-shirts. That’s it.

If I have unavoidable cleavage, I use a scarf to throw it off.

And most importantly; I hold my head and back up proudly. I am a beautiful woman that happens to have large breasts. If you have a problem with that, get some therapy.


PEACE!