Enough withthe Sugar. Time for the Spice

What happened to my fabulousness? I used to be a force to reckon with. But now a days I feel like a has been. That my glory days are behind me. This is not in tune with the person that I am at heart. I am used to being the center of attention when I walk into a room. I was at the Laundromat last month and there was a woman in there scooping up all the male attention. Now she was younger than I, but I ain't no old bag... and she had a bad assed kid with her in tow. I'm thinking I should have gotten more attention than I got. All I scored was an old man in shoe boots. So have some serious pondering and consideration to do to reclaim that good feeling that I usually have unlimitedly on tap. Let's analyze shall we...

My appearance has multiple factors... Clothes, body shape, skin, accessories.
1. Clothes
First off, display of refinement can have its drawbacks. So it's not like I'm going to look like the folks in the magazines. And I'm on the bigger end of the spectrum so ain't like all the magazine clothes are available to me. Another thing is my money is funny right now and I need to acquire only a few necessary pieces that will make my wardrobe sing. I normally spend my money on thing that won't change. Purses, shoes, accessories. And right now I have a collection of such that will hold me over until I'm balling again. And I WILL BE!!!!!!

So where I need to put my focus is the clothing themselves and some new summer shoes. I haven't bought good summer shoes in a few years. I broke my foot a few years ago and that scared me off of heels for a minute. But heels are back on the schedule for this summer. I have a pair of sneakers for the bus and I will carry the heels with me.

I really want my hair to grow much longer. I want to have a reason for letting it out from time to time. I have noticed them Earths with long locs get away with wearing their hair out and folks don't say anything to them. I'm waiting, impatiently, on that day.

As far as the dresses go... I'm going to focus on spring and summer. It's almost February and that is what I'm going to prepare for. Some cute printed maxi dresses. I have 2 patterns already. My plan is to whip up some printed dresses based on those patterns. I already have a lot of single colored dresses and separates. I want to add prints to my repertoire. But you have to be careful with prints. You don't want it to look like a costume. And I have plans for a hot pink dress and some house/traveling dresses. I am almost certain that I will be driving to Show and Prove this year. That,s only 2 dresses, but the car ride will need to be comfortable.

2. Weight.
I am a big girl. No secret. But I am not ashamed of my size. Yes it's frustrating to find clothes and sometimes patterns. But I am not disgusting. Actually, my features are big, and if I was thinner I would look a little crazy. Not trying to tantalize, but my boobs are naturally gi-normous. My head is big and even my ankles are thick with bone. I am proportional with my weight so... This year is the 1st year I have decided to not dwell on it. If I'm cool with it then folks will be cool with it.

3. Skin
My skin is creeping me out! I am having the worst eczemitic outbreak I have had since I was 16. I have no clue what sparked it. But I do know that if this situation has not corrected itself by March, I am going to have to really go to the doctor and get it looked at. God said my skin feels like a big scab and he is uncomfortable touching me. Those are really words you want to hear coming form you man's mouth. But other than it feels nasty, is unsightly is that it HURTS. I have removed meat and dairy from my diet and have gotten rid of all my non-natural clothes. Yet I still suffer. I read that sunlight and salt water really help. So as soon as it gets warm. I'm going to the beach. I need it anyway. I still am flirting with the idea of going to a tanning salon. I just don't know the rules.

The bottom line, at least in my opinion, is I think if I look better I would feel better. I am in a rut. I haven't been doing anything new, interesting or useful. Just going to work and coming home. Not trying anything new. Not setting anything new in motion. So I have nothing to look forward to except aging. That's got to change. I have decided to implement the do some things along with the look betters. I need to work in the feel better as well.

So here is the tentative plan... I already have mentally instituted the get my clothes together. Shoes aren't ready yet. And when they are I will combine them with sales to score what I need and want. I'm a stick with the major department stores. Off store shoes hurt my feet. Same with purses and jewelry. Just waiting on a sale coupon. And I have my eyes on some upscale earrings that I normally don't do. But I'm gonna do them on the bigger side to what is traditionally done. I wanna appear more upscale but be loyal to my reality.

I'm a try the tanning bed. Although I'm holding out much hope for it working. Ultraviolet light has helped me in the past. We?ll see what it will do for me now. Otherwise I will be going to the doctor. This kind of discomfort is completely uncool.

I will resume my exercise plan of park walking. I used to do this with a friend, but she hemmed me up from walking or I used her as an excuse. Either way I'm going to walk more. Also... For some additional spice... I have decided to teach myself how to roller skate again. I used to be nice. Or at least I remember being nice on skates. That was 25 years ago or more.

Another spicy thing I am going to institute is the "Do Something on Saturdays". I do nothing all weekend long. I only shower to relieve itchiness. I don't get out of bed for 3 days. If you add in all the other bed time, I could be considered clinically depressed. Maybe the reason I am in such a rut is because I am not having new experiences. I don't know. It's worth a try. And since I previously stated my money is funny and my change is strange, whatever I do has to be free or the on the low low. I am determined to do it though. I have got to shake things up for myself. Things can not continue on this particular path I been treading.


Peace