Monday, July 16, 2018

Not my fault... but I’ll still take it


I know it’s been awhile since I posted. I think all bloggers go through dry spells. And since this blog isn’t monetized, you get what you get. Lol!!! I’m not trying to be cheeky, but it is what it is. Plus since I’m not working at an office anymore, I don’t find myself sitting regularly st a computer. But let’s get to the meet. Shall we?

My mother died last January. And with all the condolences I received, I also have received a lot of foolishness from folks. I had no idea how many people resented not so much me as an individual, but what my parents gave me.

My parents were very successful... and very hard working. They met in college, got married and had children. My father owned his own insurance agency and was s broker. No one gave him anything to start his own business. He worked a bunch of jobs and saved his money. He started with a small storefront and it grew. My mother was a teacher. She was always at the top of her pay grade because (a) she had an advanced degree and (b) she took every certification offered. Mommie earned her masters while recuperating from having me! My parents came up in a time that if you had a college degree that guaranteed you a good life. My dad earned his degree with GI Bill money and my mom got academic scholarships because she was batshit smart. She was her high school valedictorian. She got skipped twice and was so young when she showed up on campus, she wasn’t allowed to stay in the dorm until she was 17... her junior year! So I say all of this to say.... my parents had money. Not Carter or Cosby money but they could buy what’re they wanted. Be it a house, new cars, good clothes or private schools for their children. And this is the reason I’ve been getting hate.

I’m not one to claim that everyone is jealous of me. I know they aren’t. But jealousy is real in some instances.
Apparently people resent how my parents raised me. Like literally someone got in my face about it at my mother’s repass. I thought that was a one time occurrence but more and more people have been coming out of the woodwork.

I had nothing to do with how my parents raised me. I did what I was told. As any obedient child would. I recognized that we had more than others. I never held that over anyone’s head. My parents friends were like them so their children had lives like I did. I thought that was normal. And I won’t accept that it isn’t. But my mom worked in a public school and she thought I needed to learn how to exist amongst people from different socioeconomic levels. Also she wanted me to learn how to actually fight. Since she was always working, I was put in after school programs with children that lived mostly in the projects. I learned to fight... talk shit... basically how to code switch amongst my own people. Because people really don’t want to see you living well. You can blend, not care or a mixture of both. I learned that some people were simply interested in my life. Others wanted me to fail and wanted their hands in it. Some folks wanted to hustle me out of what was mine. I took the best part. I really appreciated my mother’s vision with that.

So my mom left me her home. I already have a home in a different state. I rented it to a childhood friend. Do you know what? She says she doesn’t have to pay me because my mom didn’t like her. Ummmm no. My mom didn’t like that she had a baby at 14. Therefore I wasn’t allowed to play with her anymore. Really? You moved in my mother’s house to spite me? Too bad I evicted her. Another former friend is mad that she is paying off student loans and my parents paid for my undergrad. Why am I supposed to care? My god sister is mad that she grew up in the projects and I grew up in a house. What???? That whole line of conversation confused me, my husband, and her husband. And then she blamed me for it. All kinds of people have told me that my wedding was too big, my mother’s funeral was too grand, that my fathers cars were too flashy. Blaming me and my brother for our parents success. One chick even went as far to say that my brothers death was payback for all my parents had as if they were results of organized crime or a pact with the mystery devil. I punched dead in the mouth. I just can’t anymore

You show yourself to me in this foolish current, we are done for life. I can take anyone but immediate family off my planet and sleep very well at night.

And I’m posting this mostly as a cent but also a cautionary tale. Don’t be a fucking hater. It’s not a good look.