Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Lost Mojo Reward

Peace Folks....

Have y'all seen my mojo? I swear I had it a minute ago.

I have so many unfinished items on the table. Remeber I said that I wanted to finish everything in August so that I could focus on fall sewing? Well that was a dream. It kills me to not live up to the 11:14. B.U.T. I rather just not finish projects than do a shitty job on them and then have no usefulness for me.

I have the God's bathrobe hanging on the bedroom door, taunting me. All it needs is a collar and the flag. I allowed the God to choose his own contrasting color for said robe and he choose.... Black. I hate it. A royal blue robe with black collar, belt and cuffs. I know it's not my robe, but it's still an ugly combo in my estimation. But I must push on.

I still have the flag to add to my denim jacket. You would think I would jump on it since that is what I need to do with the robe. But the flag for my jacket is way smaller than the flag for his robe. I actually had an inspiration. Ideas but no desire to work them. I plan to bedazzle aspects of the flag. My thoughts were to bedazzle all the golden aspects. The moon and the half rays. Then bedazzle my name at the bottom. Mad cool right? I found someone with a bedazzler. All I have to do is find the dazzles.

And then there is the baby quilt.... 2 years ago I began the painful process of making a quilt for a former friend. I let her pick out her colors. I never do that. I hate quilting. But folks ask me to make quilts like I love to. I will NOT make big items for other people, but I will teach them to do it for themselves. When they see how much work is involved they usually back off. There is a reason why it took several grown women to make 1 quilt. Should I agree to make something, I usually take complete creative control. If I gotta be trapped in the sewing room doing piddly, and slow sewing, I ought to enjoy the colors, right? But no.... I broke my own rules (11:14) and let her pick colors I never would. I designed the quilt, though. Lavender, blue and camoflage. Really? I purchased all the stuff (fabric, batting, special thread) out of my own pocket and proceeded to cut it all out. The design calls for 4 big squares... 24", but each square is very intriquite. I took me 3 hours to sew one completed square. That doesn't include the decorated trim or the back of the quilt. After I had completed about 1/3 the damn thing, the FF called and said she didn't want anymore blankets. WTF! She KNEW I was making a custom quilt. See why she is former and not current? The God kept me from slapping the taste out of her mouth by suggesting we use it for our own children or sell it for money. He likes it, but I would never use it for my children because I will be putting bad energy into it. But I started it, and it's all cut out. What else can I do with the pieces other than finish it?

These projects feel like a sword over my head. They are keeping me from starting the new stuff I want to do. Remember I have a list of fall projects. I just swapped out my winter clothes and I always take that time to discard things I don't intend to wear. Also, you rarely see me plan for casual/weekend sewing. That's because when my work clothes wear down, they get shifted to casual/weekend wear. I tend to be more dressed than other people in general in the casual cipher (I got that from my 1st husband who only owned 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of sneakers that he bought at a gas station. He used both to do yardwork and that's it). I'm running low on nice clothes!

My bornday is coming up and I always wear something new on that day. I wanted to make something, but I don't think I have the time. If I did, it would be a lovely gray dress that I could wear my pearls with..... Looks like I may have to buy something. Last weekend I had 4 days off and did nothing!!! NOTHING Damnit!!!! I'm sick about it. I could have finished everything. I slept. This weekend has rally Sunday in it and I like to do a big dinner on the rally days for my Universe. The rally is usually about 4-5 hours , a half hour away from the kingdom. Prearing for the event itself and making a proper vegetarian dinner takes time away from sewing. And I KNOW the God will not be cool with going out to dinner. Crap!

I never feel like sewing when I get home from work. No surprise when it takes me 90 minutes to get home then I have to cook dinner. I have nothing after that. And this week, I have the moon to greet me, and her campanion... cramps. There is nothing in the tank.

This stuff has to get finished. Folks be like, just start and the mojo will come back. Not really. My workmanship is crappy when I do it like that. And I never really learned how to bypass the "I don't give a fucks". I really don't know what to do. I suppose I will take a bit of my late mother in law's advice... "If you do a little bit everyday, it all gets done." I will try to give it 30 minutes a day the rest of the working week. We shall see.....